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Dearest ones all: I have been reading everyone’s delicious stories about their encounters and web-weavings with JP. I wanted to add my own to the circle. Back in the early ‘80’s I discovered JP’s Hygieia course through my best friend, Nancy Wainer’s, recommendation. I sent away for it and began the first lesson. I never got to meet JP in person, but had many phone conversations with her and loved her zest in inspiring me to always dig the sand-well of my soul a little deeper. One of the first ‘assignments’ of the course was to find out about my own birth. To preface this – please understand that the relationship I had growing up, with my mother – was one best described as ‘sterile’. The perfect example of this – is that when I was about ten, my mama gave me the Kimberley-Clark ‘menstruation kit’ – which contained a short booklet about the ‘mechanics’ of menstruation, a Kotex and a belt for the pads. All that she said at that time, was: “Read this.” HER mom never talked with her about being a woman – and the implication always was, that one’s moon time was ‘a curse’ and NOT to be talked about. (Needless to say, when I went on to later become a direct-entry midwife and have my children at home - - I was the ‘purple-sheep’ (I like purple better than black!!) of the family - - - to put it mildly!) But I digress……. The maternal side of my family consisted of strong, determined, hard-working women who were also silent when it came to matters of a woman’s heart; i.e. the dance of relationship; sex – not to mention making mad, passionate love!; and the blood our bodies and souls spill being women and mothers. So it was with no small amt. of trepidation that I went to my mama to ask about my birth. Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY! The short version of this no-less-than-life-transforming-relationship-transforming ‘assignment’ was, that in three or four sessions my mother opened like a rose after the rain, pouring out to me how much I was wanted; that she had around 20 miscarriages before she finally carried me (she said they sewed {‘wired?’} her uterus into place so I could gestate at least close to term) for what actually wound up to be 7 ˝ months. She recounted the well of sadness she had around the emotional absence of my father, who was in law school all this time, and how alone she felt and thus put her entire faith into Dr. S, her OB. The conversation went on for hours. It took many different side roads along the way, as well. I found out things I was clue-less about! It was marvelous beyond all words. Jeanine ‘knew’ after the brief description I gave her of my mom; that I would have to be patient and compassionate with this process, like no other time in my life. She said my mom might never be able to ‘tell the story’ and that I would have to be content with whatever my mother could ‘speak’ about it. (This was hard to hear for this very verbal, extroverted Irish woman - - but I persisted with deliberate patience!) To top it off, my mother THEN typed up all the ‘answers’ to JP’s questions about one’s birth – from the course. These pages are sacred to me and always will be. It was as if JP’s intention to assist the birthing of speaking about birth / being a woman / matters of a woman’s heart, was so strong that the dam of GENERATIONS of ‘silent women’ in my family was ripped apart! This experience was nothing short of magnificent! From that day on, my mother had an ‘ease’ about being with me. My innate curiosity about the body, about Life, about ‘blood, guts and gore’ – as she put it – didn’t offend her anymore. We actually ‘talked’ from the heart; from the soul with one another. But this story doesn’t end there…….. it has a far bigger end-beginning. In 1988 my mom was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma, a very aggressive form of cancer, which by the time it was ‘diagnosed’ had spread from the egg-sized tumor in her lung to a fist sized tumor on her liver and into her blood, bones and brain. BECAUSE of my now-open, soul-of-my-soul relationship with my mom, I ‘knew’ she was sick, months before she did. I moved my entire family – husband and three sons – with me to her home – from Colorado back to Seattle. For 11 months we lived in her house and cared for her. And because she and I had developed this bond of trust; we had spoken matters of the heart; and broken the dam of silence between us; I had the most magnificent, blessed opportunity to cradle her in my arms, when she passed over into the spirit world. My sons and husband were witness to our bond; to her passing; and it has changed them all. Changed all of us. One never knows really, the ripple-effect our actions have. From JP, I learned on a cellular level, that allowing my heart to break wide open to be filled with yet more love, allows everyone around me the space to do the same. From JP, my soul’s journey was guided into the root-system; into the darkness from Where I Came, so that I may more fully dance in the Light of Life. My life is richer; deeper; bigger; more peaceful. Jeanine – the instigator! I thank you! From generations of women ancient to now and forward, the silence is broken and All will never be the same. I know now I can speak to my own nieces from the darkness of the Roots of me - - about the brilliance of our Light. I now speak from my heart first; without concern about effect and affect, because you, JP, instilled your amazing courage in me. Soar little mama soar! Soar Jeanine soar! Dance in the Light, you two marvelous women! The Best is Yet To BE! And so it is……. Goddess bless us every one. Rev. Barbara Grace (51) Mom to Jason, 29; Jeffrey 27; Kyle 24. Retired midwife, minister, massage therapist. Wild Woman and darn proud of it – thanks JP!
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